Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
