It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
