Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
