I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
