it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
