Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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