Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
