i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
