I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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