Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
