The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
