That's intense
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
