I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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