u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
