What did we do last night that was yellow?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
