what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
