I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
