I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
