If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
