3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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