my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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