He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
