she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
