Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
