Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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