If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
