Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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