Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
