He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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