I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
