Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
