I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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