i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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