someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
