Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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