I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
