He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Drake has all the answers
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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