The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Semen is not good for contacts.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
