I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
