Can Purell be used as lube?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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