It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
