the condom got lost in my hair
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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