The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
