Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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