Can i not drive my cunt home
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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