And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
