His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
