omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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