just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dicks are not precious.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
