i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
