Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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