i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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