it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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