I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
