yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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