so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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